9 Mei 2016
Dit maak nie saak presies hoé dit gebeur nie. Partykeer sien ek rou trane, soms ‘n deurbraak, soms (as ek regtig gelukkig is) sien ek joy! Iemand wat die pynlike pad geloop het en ten spyte van alles, ten spyte van verlies, kon oorleef. God se genade naak, eerlik en moeisaam ervaar. Dit herhinner my altyd aan my eie journey en dan wil ek onthou. Ek wil dankie sê.
Soms, op dae soos vandag gaan draai ek diep. Ek onthou waar joy haarself weggesteek het, hoe ver en hard ek moes soek om haar te kry.
Uittreksels: Shattered Dreams: God’s Unexpected Path To Joy by Larry Crab
Everything worked out for the best. It was hard, but don’t let pain cause you to miss the power of shattered dreams to change your life for good, forever.
No matter what happens in life, a wonderful dream is available, always. That if pursued will generate an unfamiliar, radically new internal experience. That experience, strange at first, will eventually be recognised as joy.
The way to handle suffering is to discover your desire for God. Then everything, both good and bad, becomes redemptive. It moves us toward the God we desire. Enter your thirst. Feel your ache, the very worst ache that throbs in your soul. Face how you harm others, your spouse, your children, your friends. And face your dissapointment with them.
Hope that was hidden during the long dark night will eventually be revealed. If we enter our dark night and refuse to pretend that we see light when we don’t, we will eventually see the plan of God unfold in our lives. Shattered dreams are the prelude to joy.
There is nothing safer and less likely to lead us astray than the darkness of faith. When dreams shatter and pain is blinding, we’re prevented from moving ahead in our own light. WE have none. We can move only in the light that faith reveals.
But we must let our souls live in a private monastery, in an attitude of contemplation that helps us see that all of life is sacred, where we remain alert to the Spirit’s revelation of ourselves and God. When life gets tough and God does nothing, the Spirit is telling us that this world is not our home. He is whispering to us about another world and revealing Someone who is faithfully leading us there along the best path. And He is exposing the rubble that must be cleared away.
I have learned that an awareness of inadequacy is neither a curse to lift nor a disorder to cure. It is a gift to be received, a gift that if properly used can make me powerful and strong and clear and wise.
At his worst moments of pain, he never hears a happy song coming out of his heart. When he hears a song, it’s the music of desire, of longing for what is not now and will never be till heaven. “Tears have become my deepest form of worship.”
Beneath the surface we lament another’s joy (that’s the sin of jealousy) and feel good when a much blessed friend has reason to cry (that’s the sin of smugness, a close cousin of jealousy).
When life kicks us in the stomach, we want someone to be with us as we are, not as he or she wishes us to be. We don’t want someone trying to make us feel better. That effort, no matter how well intended, creates a pressure that adds to our distress.
We are not in heaven yet. We sometimes experience now what seems like hell. But it isn’t the hell of judgment; it’s the hell of mercy, a kind of present purgatory. Shattered dreams subject us to a pain that weakens our stubborn grip on life as we want it and stirs our appetite for the thrill of God’s presence.
Our search for God is therefore an inward search. Silence and solitude are essential to discovering His presence. We must block out the noise of life and become aware of our interior world if we’re to find God. Beneath every heartache. Beneath every failure, beneath every shattered dream, a divine Presence is waiting to be discovered.
I am capable of living like that. I could become a spiritual person. I could be happy, not because things always go well in my life (though I like it when they do) but because I could learn to fly with wings the Spirit provides. I could be like Paul. Even better, I could be like Jesus.
That confidence is a presence that emerges from within, from behind; as if one entered a room and sat there on one’s own; then, after some minutes, yes there is someone there, has always been, a silhouette becoming clear. It is a kind of companionship and inner strength which walks with the soul and gives her strength, a presence that is gentle, imperceptible, dark, which evaporates if one tries to describe it…but which sustains life. Iain Matthew