it’s okay if people don’t like you, most people don’t even like themselves

  Sometimes you just need to talk to a four-year-old and an 84-year-old to understand life again. (Kristen Butler) I have been in a tug of war to write this article. It is easy to write when you have worked through your feelings, or when time has passed and healing has taken place. At this … Continue reading it’s okay if people don’t like you, most people don’t even like themselves

do not regret growing older ~ it is a privilege denied to many

  “Conscious aging is a new way of looking at and experiencing aging that moves beyond our cultural obsession with youth toward a respect and need for the wisdom of age” (Stephan Rechtschaffen, M.D.) I recently had the privilege of walking my daughter down the aisle. Two weeks later we were celebrating my son’s engagement. … Continue reading do not regret growing older ~ it is a privilege denied to many

Metanoia (n.) the journey of changing one’s mind, heart, self, or way of life

My family is in a good space at the moment.  When I look back on the past seventeen years of being a single parent, I know that we are here by God’s grace.  Nothing else. We had an eventful life, full of ups and downs, uncertainties and stress.  Despite everything that happened, we survived. God … Continue reading Metanoia (n.) the journey of changing one’s mind, heart, self, or way of life

the first cut

Self-harm and specifically cutting is a disturbing tendency – a growing addiction. Through caring counsellors God touches shattered lives and restores broken people to wholeness. Stories that spill from healing hearts are shared to bring hope to those suffering, and ultimately to glorify God. Continue reading the first cut

As I unclutter my life, I free myself to answer the callings of my soul

I often wonder about God’s story, how He created everything for a purpose. I also think about myself, my life, the choices I have made. I wonder if I even remotely fulfill the intentions He has for me. The past two weeks were grueling.  I felt emotional pressure, time constraints, and work-related issues that needed … Continue reading As I unclutter my life, I free myself to answer the callings of my soul

do not confuse the voice of ego with that of intuition

The voices often disguised themselves in confusion, especially when I had to make difficult decisions, life choices that would impact my future. The two voices are direct opposites. They contradict each other. Ego and intuition. Ego is defined as a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance. Intuition is the ability to understand something instinctively, without … Continue reading do not confuse the voice of ego with that of intuition

in His presence

Relationship I love silence. Solitude. A place where I can connect with nothing, and with God. A sacred space where I can talk to my Father that I can’t see, but I can feel. A small circle where I can be influenced without saying a single word. But, this kind of relationship requires my presence. … Continue reading in His presence

gratitude

It was way back in 1999 that I watched the Oprah Winfrey show and she spoke about gratitude. Here is the gift of gratitude.  In order to feel it, your ego has to take a backseat.  What shows up in its place is greater compassion and understanding.  Instead of being frustrated, you choose appreciation.  And … Continue reading gratitude

grace

It was a defining moment. I remember looking at myself in the mirror. I knew that the brokenness was gone, I couldn’t see the hurt. I knew that my previous self had overstayed her welcome. She was leaving. It was a new experience for me. I had had no problem leaving people, belongings or dreams … Continue reading grace

forgiveness

But God’s forgiveness is unconditional; it comes from a heart that does not demand anything for itself, a heart that is completely empty of self-seeking. It is this divine forgiveness that I have to practise in my daily life. It calls me to keep stepping over all my arguments that say forgiveness is unwise, unhealthy and impractical. It challenges me to step over all my needs for gratitude and compliments. Finally, it demands of me that I step over that wounded part of my heart that feels hurt and wronged and that wants to stay in control and put a few conditions between me and the one whom I am asked to forgive. (Henri Nouwen) Continue reading forgiveness

stuck

I was stuck for two years.  I was carefully wedged in-between a series of unfortunate events. It is no man’s land, a scary place.  I did not know what God wanted to change in my life…how many parts He wanted to remove…what He wanted to renew… I did what I had to do to keep … Continue reading stuck

secrets

We don’t spend our time thinking about garbage, or waste containers for that matter, yet many women stay stuck in life, in limbo, because they are filled with emotional garbage –   containers filled with self-criticism, self-beating, regrets and guilt. Garbage: things that are no longer useful or wanted and that have been thrown out : … Continue reading secrets

crossroads

It is a crossroad. An intersection that I know well. A camping site where I wasted precious years of my life. The pivotal point of choosing between faith and fear. I waited.  I cried.  I felt offended.  I was irritated with my circumstances.  I held on to a myriad of grudges. When this did not … Continue reading crossroads

taking time out

I loved my grandmother. She understood me – all of me. When my mom came down on me with sharp stinging words, she was the one that gave me a reassuring pat on the leg. When the dark clouds of my mom’s depression engulfed our home and I heard Strauss Waltzes coming down the driveway, … Continue reading taking time out

sanity

School holidays in our home were happy times. I allowed the children to build blanket houses underneath the dining room table and Lego cities all over the lounge carpet, tables and chair armrests. Days would go by with them playing, continuing their stories, army attacks and space missions. Then, out of the blue it would … Continue reading sanity

powerless

The Beginning We build our own prisons, and carry them around. We bang our heads against heavy bars, and silently cry out for help. Some manipulative moves force us to our knees and we become immovable objects, trapped in the misery of our circumstance. I felt like a caged bird. Trapped. Powerless. What does it … Continue reading powerless

denial

We construct walls around ourselves and our secrets, disable our feelings for fear of being found out by others. It is the war within that causes the most damage. The lies we tell ourselves, the discord between our hurting hearts and the facade we keep to the outside world. It takes courage and despair to … Continue reading denial

awakening hope

There are days when I think back on those hopeless moments. Subtle reminders of despair. A smell or a sound will trigger an avalanche of memories, and in an instant I am aware of the brutal journey, the countless adjustments and realignments that brought me to this day. It is only now, standing on a … Continue reading awakening hope